Be a Model. Or Just Spell Like One.

Most of us usually overlook small spelling errors in casual correspondence, blogs and the like. But I wouldn't be surprised if the "model as blonde ditz" stereotype just got reinforced in the minds of the thousand or so people who saw the sign. Someone added an "H" later in the day; if you look closely, you can see it.
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This picture was taken yesterday at the Expo Center. There were a good number of events all going on in the same building.
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Oddly enough, though there were a LARGE number of people milling in and out throughout the day, there weren't that many orders at the cafeteria. The "cafe" was our "Skittles Room," the room where players wait for the next game and/or parents and family members hang out. Sort of like a Green Room in TV-Land. Emperor decided to spend his two dollars on a small orange juice. Too bad it had an expiry date of about a week ago. Makes you wonder what they were serving in the actual edibles, but I suppose we should all take comfort in knowing pretty much everything was deep-fried, and that is sanitary because deep-frying kills germs and stuff.
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I had disobeyed the "no outside food" rule when I came this time because um, I had eaten at the cafeteria once before. ONCE. Remembering that hot dog still brings on the heaves, but the pop was OK. I think.
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Just about everyone snuck their lunches in. Huge Thermoses, baskets of sandwiches, granola bars, popcorn... many things were passed around openly. The manager lost his cool when one family brought in HUGE armloads full of McDonalds' things to pass around to their group. I distinctly saw everyone sort of shuffle their books around to hide their Lunchables, or move their baggies into their laps under the table after that happened.

Lead Bank State Championship

We had a LONG day playing chess at the Lead Bank State Championship at the KCI Expo Center. We got to see some old friends from a previous chess league and socialize during the times between games. This is J and B, who later tied for first place in the K-2 Division. Emperor was the top player in the third grade division (he would have been in third grade were he in public school). And The Happy Elf Homeschool placed as the *first* K-6 division school. I hadn't even realized we were playing as a school as well as individually. Elf and Emperor have greatly improved their game since last year. For Emperor especially, this is a grand victory. Remember his last tournament? This was his year to shine. :)

A Short Post

I know there are some wacko teachers out there who want to come out as lesbians and indoctrinate entire schools with the backing of their unions. Don't tell me they don't exist. They do. But I'm embarrassed and appalled as an American at some of the anti-teacher comments that have been hurled about. Gravy train is over? Do you think teaching 30 students to a test all year and having to deal with drama from parents and administrators is a "gravy train?" Gravy train implies close to zero work and get over it if you don't have the same benefits, but these teachers work hard.

The issue at hand is collective bargaining rights. I've never liked this idea of unions, and I especially don't like this idea of forcing teachers to be in a union in some states. How can you be in "union" with someone by force? And some of the retirement and medical benefit rates and that sort of thing probably need amending. Unions strike me as plain un-American, but then again, I never worked at the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory. Sometimes there is a reason things are the way they are. That doesn't mean they need to stay that way.

I think teachers in public schools have tremendously hard jobs. Sure, they want to earn a living. But many of them would not put up with the crap they do if they didn't care about the kids, too. Some of the hateful comments I've been reading are pretty uncalled for.

Go read the teacher blogs sometime, friends, about what really goes on in schools and see if summers off and a good retirement plan would be worth it to you. I'm not saying that things shouldn't change, but I am saying that sometimes we should just say "thank you" to our teachers for what they're trying to do whether we have kids in school or not.

Ok. Thanks for listening and have a great weekend.

My New Underwear

Yep. Everybody look at it. I've been wanting a pair like this for a long time. Woodjie is pretty much dry all the time, so long as one of his caregivers (me, D or Patrick) remembers to take him to the bathroom regularly. He doesn't ASK to go potty, but he can go and get a Smartie if he's dry. Poop? Another matter entirely. It bothers me immensely to keep shelling out a fortune on pull-ups, and even the largest diapers are too small and mark his hips. Underwear and that sort of thing is a messy proposition as one must pull it down (eew, smeary!) or cut it off the sides and toss out (dangerous/expensive). So... I am purchasing from Etsy for the first time. If you are interested in buying something for your older child, I'd suggest a custom order from diapermonster. She has worked with me and we've gotten down to a size/design I think we'll be very happy with. See the snaps? Mine doesn't have the waterproof lining so that we can get pretty close to "real" underwear as reasonably possible. What do you think?

It's Your Life.

Of course it is. Your parents went through a time where they wanted their own lives as well. This post is for a child whose parents love him very much. Ahh, teen years. Do you remember 'em fondly and wish you could go back? And can you believe the songs we listened to are now "oldies?"

More Public School Testing

Well, I asked for it. I don't want to throw Elf out there without any help next year. That means requesting special services. That means going through their evaluation process. That means answering questions on their dopey psycho McWeird tests. (Please respond "always, almost always, sometimes, rarely or never," as it applies to situations with your child in the last two months, mmkay?)

Sets fires.
Runs away from home.
Has difficulty making friends.
Bullies others.
Hits other children.
And so on.

Well, yay.

Last time I answered these questions when Elf was barely six, they decided to label my kid as "emotionally disturbed." Mostly because he ran away from everybody ALL. THE. TIME. because he didn't want to go to school. (Wonder why?) Problem solved on that since he's homeschooled, and we have trouble getting the kid out of the house now more often than not. It's almost as though he lives at school now. :)

But... what kid does NOT set fires with his parents? Even Emperor was hoping to spend money on matches at Wal-Mart just yesterday because he wanted to figure out some "experry-mints" to do in the kitchen this week with cooking oil and flour, and would it save time to just put the fire IN the bowl rather than baking things in the oven? (Sorry. I didn't let him get any matches. Bad mom.)

And what kid does NOT bully others? Elf used Emperor's baby nickname when they had a disagreement the other day. (THAT IS BULLYING. I've read the literature from the schools.) Patrick is a little more subtle about it and just calls him "Octavian" when he is upset. And (sigh), yes, Elf and Emperor got into a giant hitting match two days ago over who should get to read the longest, because one child had a long chapter in his book to read and the other child said it wasn't fair because he didn't get a long reading when HIS chapter was long last time... so... no fair...(smack, smack, shove...)

Dang, but if I check the "yup, he's bullying, and pretty regularly" box, they'll be looking for trouble and watching to see if my kid flashes some gang signs that first day of school. If I don't, but check the "Elf is perfectly behaved all the time, a most amiable child; never cross" box, they will think (rightly) that Mom is a big smartypants liar.

I wound up checking "rarely" on about everything and on "sets fires," I checked never. I reasoned that "setting" fires without parental permission is probably what they meant, not "lighting" them WITH permission.

Ok, ok. I need to adjust my attitude on this. Look at it rationally: D let me do things my way by homeschooling these last almost five years, and now it's time to send the kid off on the bus next year. I'm still allowing myself to get snarky about the McFill-in-Circle-Tests, though. Because they really ARE pretty dopey.

Maybe I need to look at it from the school's perspective, too. They're getting a new kid. I think if I were getting a new kid to watch along with 600 of his best friends every weekday, I'd want to know if I could expect him to light fires and punch the teachers out. But still.

Crazy Comment Monday: Homeschoolers Falling Behind.

It's a new feature I just made up. I'm going to start with some not-so-crazy comments because some of the *crazy* comments I've seen this week make my head spin too fast. I'll start out with something small until the vertigo ceases. Here goes:

"In my 10 years of teaching, I have worked with 6 students that were formerly homeschooled and then enrolled in public schools for various reasons. All of them were significantly behind academically. Though they were all wonderfully behaved and morally sound, their academic deficiencies were so profound that it grieved my heart. I know their parents believed they had their child's best interests at heart when they choose to homeschool, and I know that the time they had at home with them was very precious. But in all 6 circumstances, these average ability students will continue to struggle to compete in the 'real world' because of such significant foundational gaps."

"I stand behind a parent's right to choose to homeschool, and have no doubt that many successful students come out of these settings. However, I beg parents to weigh this choice carefully and pause to truly count the costs. Only take on homeschooling if you and your children truly have the self-discipline to be able to follow through with it each and every day."

That was an excerpt from a much longer quote by "Julia Davis" on an amazon.com discussion link on homeschooling (not sure how to link to it). I'd like to hear what you think about her idea after you listen to me drone on for a minute with my opinion:

1. I don't doubt the comment. It doesn't seem to be written with any sort of anger or outright stupidity. But the comment is based on six homeschoolers. And what does this teacher do for a living? Not a cut, but if she teaches special ed, it stands to reason that all six homeschoolers she encounters would be a bit "behind," right??

2. It can be a sign of success to enroll your child in public school when you know that things are becoming out of hand for you as a teacher. I could probably buy a boxed curriculum calculus set for Emperor later on, but likely I will seek out an actual person (public school or private tutor) to teach my son these things when we get that far along. Certainly it stands to reason that some of these parents recognized that they were beginning to put off assignments or were otherwise unable to teach well just then. Or perhaps some of these children of "average ability" were actually learning disabled in some way. Some brilliant people are, you know.

3. Do I have to say it? There are some woeful examples of public education dropout factories and the like. Even in our suburban district, one of my older sons tests "average" intelligence-wise and is functionally illiterate. Yet I never, NEVER see people be "supportive" of public education and simultaneously give the caveat that one ought to seriously, seriously think before they "take on" public schooling for their children. If you're going to send your child to school -especially at the elementary level- you must be prepared for all kinds of extra work, extra meetings, incidental expenses and a supply list that would enable a school in a Third World country to operate for about a decade.

4. No argument, based on six homeschoolers, my cousin's best friend up the street, or statistics put forth by some dude in the comment section should mean anything to you when you're thinking of what's best for your own child. It might be a terrible choice for you, but I'd hate for people to get dissuaded just because my second cousin's ex-wife is doing a bad job with it. :)

Sunday Selections: Enterprise

Its five-year mission: to seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no Lego man has gone before. Currently, Enterprise is investigating the black Ticonderoga pencils, Black Pearl erasers and the happy squeezy heart. The entity "Elf" needs the squeezy heart, or he will crack his knuckles constantly and disrupt the space-time continuum. And do NOT try to pass off icky yellow non-Ticonderoga pencils on Elf, or else unexplained "Ut-ohh" homeschool phenomena occur. Same with the erasers: no pink erasers. Or else. Emperor likes the stinky Smencil pencils you see at the top of the pic. They come in about every smell you can imagine, and some you probably can't. Want to see more Sunday Selections? Pop on over to Kim's blog, dahling. Yeahh, my children watch that horrid "Green Acres," too. I never "got" that show. :)

Bloggy Bling!

My bloggy friend Blondee awarded me with this Stylish Blogger Award. I'm supposed to think of seven things about myself and award this to seven other bloggers. I'm really honestly having a hard time doing that and I've been working on it off and on for a few days. I am going through one of those times where it is hard to know what to say.

Hm. And more depressing still, I don't know that I have seven new friends that I haven't hit up with blog awards before. That shows me that I have been a little stagnant on the "meet new people" thing, too. My new friends on the blog have mostly appeared magically (or by some other mysterious process).

But I can at least do seven things about me. If you are lurking, would you pretty PLEASE delurk and award yourself this award so I can say hi and visit you? I see that I have 114 followers but it's always the same five people commenting when I post. Well, two or three if the other regulars are busy lol. So REALLY. Award yourself the STYLISH blogger award if you are lurking. You deserve it because you have great style in your blog reading, right?? :)

Ok. The seven things. Provided by Elf.


1. I am the best homeschool teacher ever.
2. I sing really good songs.
3. I do a good job in typing.
4. I give good opportunities because I give Elf an opportunity to do schoolwork so that he can be a very good student.
5. I do well at cooking.
6. I do a good job in painting elephants.
7. I do a great job in making coffee.

What I've Been Doing

It doesn't look all that much effort was put into it. It just seems like a few stacks of books on a shelf, right?? But I've been going through stuff I have stashed away downstairs and bringing it up and organizing it. I've also been bringing down books and materials we're done with this year. I'm telling you, this process is still ongoing and it's been days. On display here is pretty much all we'll need for next school year except for math (which was being used at the time I took this) and art and an empty spot for "stuff I'm buying at the curriculum fair." It sounds as though other folks are organizing their homeschool rooms, books and materials at this time of year as well. :)

Asking for Help.

A mom was having difficulty disciplining her son. Nothing seemed to work for him. She's pretty smart, has had some children before and knows what she is doing, or at least that must have seemed the case to the folks who allowed her to adopt her son. But finally she has found herself becoming more and more unable to maintain control. She shows Dr. Phil and all of America a video of what life is really like.

We all know these shows take advantage of desperate people for the edutainment of others. I'm very sorry for this mother, though obviously sending the video in yourself hardly entitles you to victim status when people find out what's going on and start calling child welfare on you.

I've heard of other parents giving hot sauce to their children, and I didn't understand why that was considered bad until I saw the video. My older children love hot sauce and eat it with their meals. I couldn't see POURING the stuff down the kid's throat, though. We're not even talking about a dab on the tongue.

Is anyone else here old enough to remember what it was like to get your mouth washed out with soap? I still feel vomit-y thinking about it. Yet I personally can't imagine calling social services because of it. I'm NOT saying it's ideal, mind you; I'm not. I just think of the kids out there that are getting sexually molested, beaten and inadequately fed and/or neglected each day, and think this family is probably not where we want to concentrate resources. I still felt my heart drop watching the video.

And there just *has* to be another choice besides going to the state or appearing on Dr. Phil. Even a cheap-o counsellor could tell the family to act nice and just "stop it" so the state wouldn't have to get involved. Right?? Only $5 for the first five minutes, and most clients don't need more than that.

In all seriousness, there really should be something, somewhere, given all the specialty clinics that are out there in this world.

The King James Bible's 400th Anniversary!

It's coming up in May! Where are all the churches and homeschool groups celebrating this event? There are a great plenty of churches and homeschool curriculum providers who use the KJV - if not exclusively, then at least extensively - in their services and materials.

Is it falling out of favour? Too stilted, perhaps, to trot out of the closet and give an "anniversary" lookback as often happens with everything from Columbine to Columbus?

Whatever you may think of the translation and its accuracy or merits, it's had a profound effect on English literature and is the source of many idiomatic expressions commonly in use today. Here's a nice little website, complete with a ticker and a few handy links.

You'd think that Bible clubs and other organizations would be putting more out on this. But as one educational commenter noted of late, churches are moving away from longer passage memorization to short quips and quotes. Is it a cultural move from in-depth thought to a more sound-bite presentation of information? The author does not speculate.

For my part, I prefer the language of the KJV, but I honestly do NOT understand it all. I enjoy reading from two Bibles or using a KJV "parallel" Bible that puts two or more translations near one another. Any time you translate something from a foreign language, something must be lost or altered. Or the translator must choose between LITERALLY translating an idiomatic or cultural expression, or translating its actual MEANING to the original audience.

In short, I'm not freaked out about other versions of the Bible, but I tend to put more authority on the KJV simply because it has been around longer and withstood centuries of criticism from Bible scholars who know much more than I do on the subject. I also use curriculum that comes from some of the "KJV only" crowd not because I believe in the reinspiration of the KJV scriptures, but because the KJV curricula tend to be more in-depth and at least closer to where I stand theologically.

Alphabet Angst

Those Y and Z people deserve to be oppressed. We all know that they aren't as good as the A and B people. When I was at school, they still segregated the Ys and Zs to the back of the room. I don't know if they do that any more, though.

I was a B, so I got a good spot up near the front. I like having the spot up near the front of the class. I like getting first pick of all the food in the cafeteria, the coldest chocolate milk, being first in line for recess. Are you kidding? Those are my God-given rights. No Z is gonna take that from me.

You've heard of white privilege, but that's not really what confers my elite status in this world. You see, my ability to make good financial decisions - and thus, the whole economic path of my life - was nurtured by my being first for everything and being one of the specialest snowflakes in the whollle world.

That's right. It's because my last name started with a B that I am who I am today. Ha-ha! They really think that. Ok.

"'For years, simply because of your name, you've received inequitable treatment,' says Kurt Carlson, an assistant professor at Georgetown's McDonough School of Business."

Yep. Alphabet privilege. I "married down" into a G family and my children will pay the price for generations. I had sons, you see.

Posting This Early

That will give you time to memorize this song and serenade the senorita in YOUR life on Valentine's Day. Feel free to pass on the smile; I found this at Education Week's Learning the Language section. :)

Sunday Selections

I thought about NOT posting this, but then... how could I NOT share this happy occasion with my bloggy friends? Do you see how happy these little fellows are? They've been presented with their very OWN Polish pottery. Elf very nearly launched into orbit from giddiness; he has his very own mug with handpainted stars. And Emperor has his very own apple baker, which is now on display in the middle of our homeschooling/ dining room table. For more Sunday Selections, see Kim's blog.

At Least We Didn't Have Justin Bieber

I swear, that fella sounds like a girl. But an old (ok, young like me!) friend reminded me on facebook that we had Milli Vanilli. Here they are, in a video featuring rotary phones. :) Can anyone clue me in to what the sniffing and booger blowing at the beginning really means??

Tea Sets and Tiny People

It makes G very sad. He wanted to be the one to present his little sister with her birthday gift of a basket full of tea party things. She was so happy! She got all the things out and organized them and chatted with G about the different plates and cups. SO cute. G wanted to play with her, but the tea set items kept slipping through his fingers. The tiny little handles... he couldn't even pinch them in such a way that they wouldn't fall. Here, the girl finally got little cups and things that weren't too BIG for her, that she could handle so nicely... but it didn't work for big brother. That was discouraging.
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Later, G finally had an opportunity to use one of the new mugs, and his fingers don't fit through the handle. He had to cup the mug oddly, and it was awkward. He was sad. Someone at a Chinese restaurant told him that he was "too tall," and that one offhand comment really hurt his feelings. He feels a bit better that I have given him my old BIG mug. He has been feeling very down lately for a number of reasons. He is going through a very hard time and that's all the detail I feel I can go into. Will you pray for him? It's more than just the mugs, obviously. It would be nice if all of the family could get along, and G could get the support that he needs from the community. Some important people in his life have failed him of late.

DONE.

We're finished with all our state-required hours for the 2010-2011 school year! We could sit around until JULY (or later, if we wanted a summer break!) and do NOTHING academic whatsoever. Oh, yeahhhh.

Meanwhile, our public school has to do SIX makeup days and one more day for every two missed hereafter. Can I just say that seat time requirements are silly? But I do vaguely understand the rationale behind them. Certainly you can't teach me all I need to know in second grade in three hours per year. So, some committee somewhere fuddles around and thinks of a nice round number - 174! - and requires schools to do that.

Really, I'm befuddled at the whole process. I don't know which committee meets or what their procedures are. It seems to me, however, when we began homeschooling that 1,000 hours seemed a heavy requirement for a small child. Now, progressing further, 1,000 hours doesn't seem to cover all that needs to be done in a given year. I'm sure the amount of time I feel necesssary will increase the longer I homeschool. But if I were to begin homeschooling Rose in kindergarten? I hardly imagine myself working with her for five or six hours each day on solid academics.

I see no differentiation in the DESE guidelines between first and 12th graders in terms of the number of hours required in a school year. But I DO see that it looks as though there is a four-day instead of five-day option. Wonder why no one has proposed doing that here? Would save a boodle on transportation costs, though the school day would be long and children who miss a day of school are really missing a day and a quarter (right? I'd think).

Boys and Reading

Is it hard to teach boys to read, or to enjoy reading? All my older children are boys, so it's hard for me to draw much of a comparison with girls. I can, however, tell you that each of my children has a different level of ability and drive to learn the subject.

One of my older children was able to be taught to read and write reasonably fluently before he entered kindergarten. Another teen is still functionally illiterate, and though nearly an adult is still working at a second/third grade level. And I mean a public school second/third grade level, meaning no disrespect. It is what it is. He has been quite resistant to learning the subject at home and at school. It has never been easy for him.

So, what should educators do? Keep a huge child back one year after another, until the student is over six feet tall and in third grade still? I'm not really a fan of "social promotion," but we have a few limits on the "you don't pass into the next grade until you can do x, y, and z" thing for a good reason. A truly effective approach would allow for ability grouping and more than that, opportunities for children to go from one group to another by subject.

Emperor, for example, is pretty good at math and is halfway through pre-algebra, but his writing is not at the same level. I should imagine if I were to enroll him in public school tomorrow, they'd look at his handwriting and send him to third grade and give him a bunch of occupational therapy. Maybe they would treat him as though he needed to learn his times tables. But just because someone is always talking and hopping about and can't cut within the lines doesn't mean his intelligence is low.

Perhaps I underestimate the public schools. But I remember his going into kindergarten being able to add columns of multidigit numbers. They kept him in with all the other students for math. These kids, as a class, were still learning the concept of "one" teddy graham added to "one" teddy graham means there are now "two" teddies. That's actually fine for most kindergarteners, but it isn't really appropriate for Emperor. And he was in class for a full week and a half. I told them about his abilities, but they didn't seem to want to believe me or want to ever test him for any gifted program. Just stuff him in with everyone else. I have myself a good feeling they'd have never gotten 'round to doing a blessed extra thing with him.

Oh, I am SO GLAD I was able to homeschool him. Mind you, socially, he is so not there, but then again, he wasn't doing so hot in that department in public school, either.

I think being able to just sit and spend TIME with reading helps a lot, if you have a willing student. In fairness, schools with large classes can't have that much one-to-one reading time where someone is really listening to the child discover literature one sound at a time. I'm thankful for the time I was able to spend with my homeschooling boys.

I saw this website and was inspired to write the post you're reading. I love how the literature for boys is divided into categories like "aliens" and "at least one explosion" and the like. I hope you enjoy it.

YES, I Bought More Stuff

I had to buy enough knobs for the rest of my kitchen cabinets anyway, sooo... Emperor will get an apple baker and Elf will get a little mug (elf-sized!) with stars on it. And I bought a tile in "Amazon Flower" pattern to keep my pop or coffee on by the computer. And I bought three new "flowering peacock" mugs; see them in the cabinet picture? I finally said when I put everything away that I think I'm really done ordering all the pottery I "need." I think I'm done!

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Emperor gasped when he heard that. There are several other styles that we don't have, did you know that?? Yes. He has the catalogue to prove it. D seems to think it is all very silly anyway; he won't touch the pottery. And besides, none of it matches. (I think it matches in an eclectic sort of fun way, but ohh well.)

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I served dinner with the old plates as I had gotten them out of the dishwasher, and why put things away only to take them out again?

Elf was very sad. He wanted to know if he had been a bad boy since he didn't get served on the POLISH POTTERY. Arg.

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Here you see Elf eating some pizza with the pottery during a snack time. Emperor came bounding in and wanted a snack, too. Well... I'm loading the dishwasher in just a second, so you can have your chips in this paper bowl -

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"WHAT??!" His eyes about popped out of his head. "You mean I have to use ORDINARY DISHWARE?"

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Um... do YOU know other little boys who like to discuss Polish pottery patterns? Outside Poland, I mean. Or maybe I am really, really behind the times and other people's kids do this sort of thing and I just don't know about it. You know... baggy pants and dish patterns being the "in" thing with the hep-cat set. Or maybe the groovy kids like Fiesta ware better. :)