I think I am not understanding anyone's motives or even getting what the implications are for anything sometimes. I'm still (???)ing over a recent conversation, typed online. I'm not sure what I did wrong. The conversation ended so abruptly that I'm not sure what to think...
Acquaintance Person: Hi. I have missed you at church.
Me: (silence for a bit)
(Thinking: Hmm... she seems to be asking why I'm not going anymore without asking directly. SO glad I'm typing because in real life, I'd launch into it. And I don't want to get nasty about the church she is still attending. I want to say something nice. Whew. I can be *so* much more discerning in type. But that doesn't mean I'm very discerning even with a sec to think before I type... what to sayyyy? Something nice. Here goes...)
Me: Hi! Thanks. How are you doing? How is (adult son) doing in (organization)?
Person: (ADULT SON) WAS UNABLE TO JOIN (organization) BECAUSE (obvious disqualification).
Me: (Why the caps suddenly? I don't get it.) Oh, that's too bad. I'm sure he'll do great once he (does the thing that qualifies).
Person: WELL I THINK THE STATE OUR COUNTRY IS IN THAT THE (organization) IS NO PLACE FOR A YOUNG MAN. WELL I HAVE (appointment) SO MUST BE GOING.
Me: Ok! Nice chatting with you.
Ok. Please analyze the conversation. WHAT did I do wrong here? The silence part? The asking about her son? I think I need some social skills classes or something. I feel really bad. I am always doing something not right. The other night a dear sweet teenager came to say hello to me at the autism center. She is a volunteer there. STUPID me told her that I did not recognize her because she was not wearing a white shirt like last time. Duh. She was probably one of the nicest people ever and AFTER she said something ohhhh! I recognized her face. But I wasn't thinking about it without the right shirt. That's dopey. People change their shirts!! So... why didn't I recognize her? She was even in the same place I saw her last time. Arg. That was rude of me. I do this to everybody who isn't my best friend for about three years.
And duuuh. There's this other lady that goes to the autism center. I could tell you her name and 50 things (no exaggeration!) about her and her family, and I know personal things and all kinds of stuff. But I don't recognize her with her hair down. I figured this out after she kept talking to me the other day as if she knew me pretty well. But I thought maybe she was someone the director hired to do the presentation that day so I was guardedly nice, wondering why she had that happy "I know you well" sort of dance to her. We had to sit and chat with her a long time before I sort of had an inkling of who she was. I didn't know for sure until someone else called her name.
STUPID stuff like that. She probably thought I was snobby and unfriendly. Yeah, kinda! I was, looking back on it. Sorry. But I didn't say anything to her about it in case maybe everyone would think that I have Alzheimers or something. But you can't lose what you never had. I do that when I'm driving, too... just keep going and hope I recognize the place soon. Do you know how terrifying highways are? You could wind up most anywhere. I will go to Wal-Mart. I will go to Sam's Club. The doctor's office. A few places nearby I know. Please do not ask me to go anywhere new, ever. (I am freaking out just thinking about it.)
Still, I could always tell my father and my uncle apart even when their wives could not. They were identical twins. But they were so, so different. Some lady wears the wrong colour shirt, though, and all bets are off.
I hope I haven't offended this person I chatted with online tonight. I'm not sure what to think. Feeling guilty and going over and over the conversation in my mind. So, lemme have it. Surely it can't be worse than what I'm feeling and saying to myself already. There is probably some very obvious "rule" that I have overlooked, such as, "I know you must be busy, so I will let you go," is a polite way to say, "Go away now because I'm done."