Would you take away your child's autism if you could? Even if that meant your child would be fundamentally different?
Yup. I would.
I've had great difficulty blogging on autism this month. I would *like* to be able to talk about how much of a blessing my children with autism can be. It's true. They're blessings. But this month, G has had extreme difficulty with his behaviour. He tends to think in very black and white terms... You are either the greatest, most special mom on the whole face of the planet or, if you have taken his games away and confined him to his room...
You are Adolf Hitler. You are a JERK! I hate you. That's your new name; it's JERK. You're stupid and you're ABUSING ME! AAAAAA! AAAAA! AAAAA! Abusing me! AAAAA!
(And here I think about what my neighbours think. G bangs on the walls and the pole in the basement, which makes a loud bunch of sounds. Sure sounds like someone's getting the poop beaten out of him from outside.)
At this point, there is NO point talking to him or administering consequences like taking away stuff or whatever. No point. He is absolutely out of it. You are a jerk. There is nothing you can say or do at this point to be a good person again. Nevermind that you are absolutely rational, and console yourself that at least *this time* you haven't raised your voice, despite being sorely tempted... Nevermind that the reason the kid got sent to his room was for something that a "neurotypical" kid woulda been grounded a month for pulling.
You are abusing him.
AAAAA!! AAAA! Why won't anyone listen to me!?? I'm being ABUSED because of YOU and you're being a JERK! AAAAA! (bang bangbangbangbang bang... bang... bang bangbang continues for 45 minutes...)
Hey, some other time we can talk about "why medication isn't always a bad idea" or "why sometimes good parents don't seem to be doing a good job." But meanwhile, I'll leave you with this thought: I would rather get rid of every last symptom of autism. Sure, I would no longer be the best mom in the world sometimes. But I wouldn't be Hitler sometimes, either. And I just hate it when I'm Hitler, you know?
OK, now all y'all autism parents who think your kids are just fine with their autism go ahead and bash me. But I'm allowed to have a preference, since we're talking hypothetically.
I have a really big "preference" for getting rid of autism if we can. I think G and I would BOTH be happier that way.